They're Choosing...

I'ma share something with you that most brothas are hesitant to.

FIRST POINT:

I hear a lot of you lamenting the lack of availability of brothas - and there seem to be a couple factors:
1)brothas are interested in non-Muslim women, and not faith-loving women like yourself or 2) brothas are abusive hypocrites and not worth marrying.

As a single Muslim, I can tell you that no one is perfect and that even Muslims are flawed-to-the-bone human beings. You should not let the very human-ness of brothas make you revel in dragging them while you sit at home nights nursing a cup of chamomile tea..

And some of them are not really doing that - I see many a sister forego their hijab for a night out at the club. I actually don't have a judgment for that - hell, I work at the club myself... What I do raise an eyebrow at is who I see sisters leave with: that d-boy whose predilection for pork chops and Hennessy is overlooked for the money stack in his pocket..

It's that same sister who then gets on FB or IG and laments how bad or traitorous that brothas are...

I for one, am less likely to think that sister is the one for me...

SECOND POINT:

Islam has an integrated sense of modesty that sadly renders both men and especially women into dust-collecting statues in terms of pursuing marriage. This is why arranged marriages are so prevalent. Only Western Muslims break this mold - but they only break it somewhat...

We're taught our perfect spouse will fall out of the sky if we would only be patient and pray - or go to the Imam and ask for the hook-up that he is sure to have waiting for us...

Guess what? That ain't happening...

Meanwhile, from my perspective, women - especially non-Muslim sisters, who face the same lop-sided ratios of men-to-women that Muslimahs do, are learning the power of shooting their shot...

They are choosing.

And men who believe in God, don't drink (or at least pretend to), don't smoke weed (or pretend to), men who are less apt to sell drugs, be on street corners (unless they're selling knockoff clothing, lol),etc, are on the top of the Most Wanted List...

So, while you're lamenting the brothas, or dragging "kafir" sisters, they are sliding up in our DMs, talking about how they're learning to stop cooking with bacon grease or asking us to teach them things about Islam...

Pretty soon, while you're typing some post in all caps with hand-clap emojis blasting the Akhs, we're at the movies or at dinner with a honey dip "this-close" to taking shahadah...

My Mama told me long time ago - in order to get/stay married, you better get/keep a clue...

Stop sitting around...do what Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) did, get off your ass/keyboard and pursue the relationship you want...

And with that, I'm off to the movies... 😜🧐